Discourse on Ambition
August 7, 2021
Searching For The Truth
August 21, 2021

Discourse on Respecting
Seeker: How to know that someone really respects you ?
Yeah…like people show interest…but how to know it’s genuine?
Maladkar: This is an interesting question. I understand that often we are taken for a ride, especially by people whom we trust the most. People who are so-called ‘bankable’ suddenly become ‘bankrupt’ for the relationship. There are quite many intricacies involved in knowing if the interest shown is genuine. Foremost we have to depend on our gut feelings. If our gut feelings suggest we should trust, we should go ahead, provided the gut feeling is not tampered by what the mind is feeling. If your gut feeling tells you one and your mind tells you another story, go by the gut feeling. Ideally, there should be no conflict between the gut and the mind, but if there is, go by the gut feeling. Yes, that gut feeling can prove you wrong, howsoever rarely, but then that will only enrich your experience by which your gut feeling will be correctly strengthened in the right direction. So gut feeling is fundamental in trusting someone to know if someone respects you or not. Then the other aspect of knowing whether the other trusts you is to observe the person in times of your difficulties. If he or she is truly into you, then that person will change personal priorities to sort out your difficulties to the best of his or her ability. If they stand by you, then it means they respect you, they respect the relationship. They consider time spent for you as worthwhile. Only if they can give time, it can mean they can give part of themselves. It means they are into you and it is not into mere lip service. JRR Tolkien has also guided us by saying “All that is gold does not glitter. Not all those who wander are lost. The old that is strong does not wither. Deep roots are not reached by the frost.” He emphasizes on the importance of old relationships. Relationships that are old can prove to be of gold. Old relationships are definitely stronger as they have stood the test of time. So given a choice between old and new relationships, it could be better to go by the old. The old relationship has been sustained because of the love and respect it has generated over time, otherwise it would have degenerated. So, the interest shown is genuine if the relationship in spite of being old garners excitement, passion, love. In new it is natural, but when all these things are sustained down the years, then one with time will learn that the interest shown was actually genuine. So no easy answers here, it takes time for a tree to blossom, patience being a fundamental thing in its growth! So let time do the telling and you will sooner or later know if someone really respects you genuinely.

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