Discourse on Being Together
Seeker: Please tell me one thing why some good people are forced out of our life ?
Maladkar: “On one hand, we know that everything happens for a reason, and there are no mistakes or coincidences. On the other hand, we learn that we can never give up, knowing that with the right tools and energy, we can reverse any decree or karma. So, which is it? Let the Light decide, or never give up? The answer is both.” – Yehuda Berg. It is not easy to answer whether the good people should always stay in one’s life or is there a need for them to exit from our life. It does happen many a times that good people may be forced to leave your side. When the relationship is based on loyalty, then you should ideally not question to those whom your loyalty lies with. We all are aware of the consequence of King Shantanu of Mahabharat who questioned his wife Ganga on why she was sacrificing her babies in the river. So learn to trust the good people in life first. Learn not to question them and their goodness. All relationships are based on trust, isn’t it? When good people leave you, it will be beyond your comprehension for sure. Why, what, how come, why only me, is there no other option, those are some of the questions that will hound you. As Swami Sivananda says, “Know that for every problem that confronts you, there is the requisite strength and wisdom readily available to you from the Divine dwelling in the chambers of your heart. God is nearer to you than your life-breath. Turn to him with a childlike faith and experience the miraculous results.” Those are the times when you will have to be soft on yourself and think positively that whatever happens or is happening, the purpose is to purify your old self to gold, it is happening so that you can learn new lessons, it is happening so that you value and respect your existing relationship while they last ! Nothing lasts forever, then why expect the same of even good people. All people come into your life with a purpose, and mostly it is a predetermined karmic purpose. Once that purpose is over, then those people are free to exit. It is you who is stuck up on that relationship when it no longer serves the karmic purpose of that being to be with you. So you should not cry on or hang on for too long. You have to learn to go with the flow and seek your own Self, rely on your own self instead of on others. If others are there well and good, otherwise you have to learn to be happy in your own world. Better learn to enjoy your own company before it is too late. Learn to be self sufficient and try to be a complete person yourself. It is time to learn to make the most while the relationship lasts and also learn the value of those relationships. Even if the relationship breaks down, in the bargain you will turn out to be a stronger person. So now you decide what is good for you, the person staying in your life or exiting your life. Painful yes, helpful? Remember, it will take years for you to understand that this too can be a gift !